Crunchatize Me Cap'n!
by FluffyKakashi
Summary: If you give Sesshomaru the Tetsaiga...what will he do with it? READ TO FIND OUT! WARNING: Hungry Sesshy on the loose! Keep all hands, feet and objects away from his mouth.
1. YUMMY Tetsaiga!

Oh my gosh!! Could it be?? Yes!!!!!!!! It's another fanfic!! I can't believe it!! This is my 2nd fanfic. Wow…I just cannot believe it. Sorry if I seem overly dramatic; it's only because I tried to write an Inuyasha story a couple of years ago…trust me you won't be seeing it. It was that bad. Just like my Naruto fics, this one is random-ish…a lot shorter cuz I got writer's block quickly. I actually wrote this one between the 2 Naruto chappies…wonder why I got writer's block…

All The Readers: *snoring*

FK: uh whoops…ok I should stop…

ATR: *wake up only to yell at FK* get on with the freakin' story!!!!!!!!

FK: only if I get…

Neji: *walks over to FK, seemingly out of nowhere* here's 5 dollars now GO!

FK: $.$ awwwwwww thank you Neji!! *hugs*

Neji: *disappears*

FK: Oh well…what was he doing here anyway…??

Sesshomaru: *walks by* 

FK: O.O *glomps him* 

Sesshomaru: What are you doing?? Get off of me.

FK: Do the disclaimer and I'll consider it ~.~

Sesshomaru: . Fluffy does NOT own Inuyasha, or me.

FK: Though I wish I did, just like all other peoples in this ummm place…yeah…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Setting: When Inuyasha, Kagome, Sesshomaru and Jaken were in their father's tomb (in his dead body *shudders*)

Sesshomaru has Inuyasha pinned down ready to strike with his Poison Claws. Kagome pulls out the Tetsaiga by accident. 

Kagome: Ooooops…

Sesshomaru stops and looks behind himself to look at Kagome. He then flies over to her and stops right in front of her.

Kagome: *stares*

Sesshomaru: WHOA!

Kagome & Inuyasha: O.O

Sesshomaru: How did you…WHOA! Did you pull it out? (A.N. his voice is like a stupid surfer dude (not picking on surfers, Sesshy just sounds stupid) and when he says WHOA his eyes turn red then go back to normal) 

Kagome: Ummmm…yea.

Sesshomaru: WHOA! Can I touch it? When I tried to pull it out of that evil wood…it hurt me…. So can I touch it?

            Kagome just stands there…staring.

Sesshomaru: *evilly* I said can I TOUCH IT?! *snatches the Tetsaiga  from Kagome* 

Inuyasha: Sesshomaru!! Give that back!!

Sesshomaru: But I'm hungry!! *takes a bit out of the sword* 

Kagome: O.o Did he just…

Sesshomaru: Crunch-a tize me Cap'n!!

Kagome: Sesshomaru…are you ok?

Inuyasha: Heck he's never ok.

Sesshomaru: WHOA!!! DUDE!!! Brother!! How are you?

Inuyasha: Ummm…

            Sesshomaru starts prancing around in little circles, moving the sword up and down.

Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru, what are you doing?

Sesshomaru: Come Jaken, a parade we shall make!!

            While prancing, Sesshomaru starts running in circles and pops up in front of Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru: Do ya want it? *disappears and reappears somewhere else(still in the tomb)* Do ya? *moves again* Do ya? *moves back in front of Inuyasha* Do ya?

Kagome: HEY!! You need to back away from MY Inuyasha!!

Inuyasha: Your Inuyasha??

Sesshomaru:  I do not care for your chipmunk, little _human_. All I need is the delicious piece of wallpaper and I shall be fine. * holds up Tetsaiga* 

Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru…what about me??

Sesshomaru: Pfft! I dun need you. Why don't you become a women's shoe salesman-thingy like your mother said, hmmm? *walks away* 

Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru…how could you?? *starts crying* (A.N. pathetic)

Kagome: He does know that is a sword and not…delicious…wallpaper…right??

Inuyasha: I dunno…

            Sesshomaru, at this time, is serenading his :ahem: wallpaper; occasionally taking a nibble at it.

Myoga: Lord Inuyasha, you must get the Tetsaiga before he devours it!! (A.N. his eyes are all buggin' outta his head)

Inuyasha: Uhhhh yea I know but how??

TBC

FK: CRAP that was a little shorter than I thought it would be but the stupid writer's block won't let me do any more…. I have something to tell everyone. Never EVER make a bracelet out of tape and put the sticky side against your skin. It hurts like hell. Yea… I'm wearing one now… I'm stopping now for another reason. My butt is falling asleep and it hurts (I'm sure its happened to others…but fine be cruel and laugh) so I need to get up. For the people wondering, if there are any, there will be more chappies for sure. R&R!!!!!!!!!


	2. Bike wheel

Hey hey hey!! It's finally an update for Crunch-A-Tize Me Cap'n!!!! I bet you are all so very very happy. Oh yeah. Well let's get it started!!!

Neji: Will you ever give me my money back?

FK: Engine engine number nine, going down the country line. If the train should jump the track, will I get my money back?

Neji: What the heck was that??

FK: Nuttin but a lil' rhymey rhyme.

Neji: A what?

Kakashi: #walks up# Is that otakutart still affecting her?

Neji: Looks like it. Why did you even give that to her? You know they're illegal.

Kakashi: I dunno.

FK: # is running around on the walls and ceiling#

Sesshomaru: #walks in but sees Hyper FK and turns to leave again#

FK: SESSHY!!!!!!!!!!!!! #glomps him#

Kakashi: #pouts# What about me?

FK: Fi-on…whosoever does the disclaimer will be loved and glomped and kissed for the time being.

Sesshomaru: She's all yours.

Kakashi: That's a little much for now….I just wanted a hug.

FK: Ok fine, #hugs Kakashi# Koga do the disclaimer.

Eggo: Only I can tell Koga what to do!

FK: Ok then Neji. Do it and I'll give you TWO dollars.

Neji: How bout 5? #sees glare# Ok, FluffyKakashi does not own Inuyasha.

FK: Here ya go!

Kakashi: Mm-mm-mm, scraping the bottom of the barrel huh?

Neji: Shut up.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Inuyasha, Kagome, and Myoga are trying to think of a way to get the Tetsaiga back.

Sesshomaru: #walks over to them#

Inuyasha: #looks up at him (they're sitting) # What?! Are you gonna give it back now?

Sesshomaru: #surfer voice# No, dudes, I was wonderin' if you had anything to eat.

Kagome: EAT??!! You were just eating the Tetsaiga!!

Sesshomaru: # looks slightly alarmed# WHOA!! Like, don't get all bent outta banana man. #takes a bite of the sword again#

Kagome: Don't you mean "Bent outta shape?" And I'm not a man.

Sesshomaru: CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!

Inuyasha: ?????

Rin: #waltzes up to Sesshomaru with some food sitting on a leaf (like in the show)#

Sessshomaru: #takes the food# SpAnK yOu LiTtLe ChIcKaDeE!!!! # eats all the food in one gulp; including the leaf#

Kagome: ……….Inuyasha……your brother scares me. #leans up against him#

Inuyasha: There's nothin' scary bout it. He's just freaky, that's what he is.

Sesshomaru: #girly gasp# Chipmunk and Human, sittin' in a tree…

Inuyasha: What is your problem?! I am NOT a chipmunk!!

Sesshomaru: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!

Miroku, Sango, and Shippo show up. (A.N. They are outside the tomb now and I know they ain't supposed to show up yet but it would be boring without them.)

Shippo: What's going on here?

Miroku: It would seem as though Sesshomaru is somehow handling the Tetsaiga.

Sesshomaru: #stares at Shippo# O.O

Shippo: What?

Sesshomaru: Eegad! Do you have a cold young one? # his voice is like one of those British professor like guys with the little circular glasses#

Shippo: Uh…no why?

Sesshomaru: Really? I thought you had Ebola with that frightfully annoying voice. Do you concur? #takes off glasses to clean them#

Inuyasha: Sesshomaru…why are you wearing glasses??

Sesshomaru: #puts glasses back on# Why are _you_ wearing glasses?

Inuyasha: But I….

Sesshomaru: Tut.Tut. Now don't lie little zebra. #starts yelling# I KNOW YOU STOLE THE COOKIES FROM MAMA'S BUSCUIT!!!

Sango: ………….#gasp# A DEMON!! I have to kill it!!

Miroku: ……..you just noticed that?

Sango: Yes….why?

Sesshomaru: #starts twitching like mad# Must….Resist….Stupidity….Impulse…..#starts laughing insanely# WHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!! #runs to Shippo to continuously poke his hair (you know, the bun)#

Shippo: #jumps into Kagome's arms# Kagome!!

Sesshomaru: Eeheeheeheehee!!!!!! #runs away#

Myoga: We need to go after him! He still has the Tetsaiga!

Kagome: Right! Let's go!

Sesshomaru: #is sitting on a tree branch continuously flipping around the branch, without using his hands; singing# There was a great big moose, and he drank a lot of juice. There was a great big moose, and he drank a lot of juice. Say Whoa-oa, wee-oh wee-oh wee-oh wee-oh, way-oh way-oh, wee-oh wee-oh wee-oh wee-oh. The moose's name was Fred, and he drunk his juice in bed… #he continues the song until the group chasing him shows up# Say-

Inuyasha: There he is!!

Miroku: Get him!!

Sesshomaru: #clutches the Tetsaiga and jumps away# They're always after me lucky charms.

Sango: Come back here!!

Sesshomaru: NEVRE!!

Shippo: #snatches the sword and gives it to Inuyasha#

Sesshomaru: WHAAA!!! You're so mean!! #looks at Kagome's bike# Mmm…that looks good. #walks up to it#

Kagome: Sesshomaru…what are you-

Sesshomaru: #takes a bite out of the middle bar of her bike# CRUNCH!!

Kagome: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! MY BIIIIIIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somewhere distant, birds fly.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

FK: #is now hugging Sesshomaru# Ah well that took awhile huh? I think it's actually shorter than my nonsense at the beginning and end.

Sesshomaru: Why must you make me act so ridiculous? -.-

FK: Cuz you know that's how you really are on the insiiide!! o

Sesshomaru: O.o Hell no.

FK: Well that's just the way things go- #singing# IN A-A-A-Albuquerque!!!!

Neji: And what was that?? No lemme guess; a lil' songy song?

FK: O.O How did you know??

Kakashi: #appears next to FK# Otakutart?

FK: Thanks!!

Neji: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU IDIOT!!!!!!

Kakashi: Have fun! #disappears#

FK: #laughs maniacally# LAUGH WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND LET US FROLIC IN THE SEA OF UNDERLYING BUBBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sesshomaru: #ahem# Please review, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

FK: WOW SHESSHY!!! O.O YOU'RE REALLY PROPER!!!

Sesshomaru: #walks away#


End file.
